I'm hoping with the highest of hopes that it's not just me. I'm hoping that some of you other Moms out there know what I'm talking about first hand.
Okay, on with the shame spiral!
Is it just me, or...
- Do you have a lot of grey hairs suddenly? Like - I'm talking a WHOLE lot of salt up in my pepper. When I put my hair in a ponytail, I look like Cruella DeVille. I have this "awesome" patch of grey hair on the side of my head. (And I'm not the only one noticing. My husband, brother and parents have all brought it to my attention as if I hadn't noticed it myself.)
- Do you catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror and think "Holy crap! Where did that luggage under my eyes come from??" I've seen pictures of myself where I'm looking like I've been up all night, running a marathon and birthing a child. That's tired. And then I'll think to myself "Wait a minute... I felt rested that day. I got about 7 hours of sleep the night before. In fact, I felt like a new woman! What the hell??"
- Are your "laundry day" undies creeping into regular rotation more and more? I've got a couple of pairs that require multiple folding they're so large. They should NOT see the light outside my underwear drawer. And yet, I find myself folding them (and folding them and folding them) each time I do laundry. I bought them with the intention of wearing them after giving birth to Anna (over 2 years ago...) and I kept them because I thought "Oh, I'll need them after having our next baby." That was clearly something I just told myself to make me feel better. I really should have said "Oh, I'll need them after having our next baby. And whenever I'm running out of "cute" undies. And on days when I just want to be extra comfortable. And to hold in my excess tummy flub, since they come up to belly-button height." Of course, I tell myself it's all okay because they're "soft pink" in colour. So they're pretty. Really... they are.
- Do you suddenly bruise easily? I got pinched by my 6 month old and had a disgustingly black/purple/yellow bruise on my arm for a week. Really? She's 6 months old. She's no hulk baby. And yet - I spent a week looking really trashy with my white, white skin and dark bruises all over my arms and legs. Sexy.
- Do you feel like coffee and wine are the ultimate treats? Screw going to the spa or getting a weekend away. As long as I can start my day with coffee and end it with wine, I'm feeling pampered and luxurious.
- Have you given up the fight with the floor food? It's always there. I clean it up - and it returns. The house? It's always dirty. I'm okay with that.
- Do you look at your husband and think "How on earth are you still raising your eyebrows suggestively at me at the end of the day??" First of all - how is he not tired? And even if he can get past that... the grey hair, the bags under the eyes, the laundry day undies, the bruises and the coffee breath? Really? I still turn you on?? Bless you.
Ah, motherhood. Such a miracle, no?