Life whispers

So who watched Oprah’s last show?

For those of you that missed it, there were no guests. No surprises. It was just Oprah talking. For an hour. Which I thought would be slightly boring, I admit.

But, as I watched Oprah impart her wisdom on us, I found myself thinking. Thinking deeply. (That Oprah… she’s good, isn’t she?) I was thinking a lot about what she was saying and how it applied to my life.

What am I meant to do in life? What’s next for me? What’s my real passion? Am I following it? What is my life whispering to me? Am I hearing it?

And then I turned on the American Idol finale and no longer thought any deep thoughts. (Woo, Scotty!)

Later that night a good friend of mine posted a clip of her 4 year-old son’s school concert on Facebook. He, along with a class-full of other fresh-faced little ones, was singing about fishies.

When the curtain opened and he saw his Mom and Dad in the audience, his entire face lit up. And then he shyly launched into the fishy song. (Complete with hand actions).

After watching that clip I thought to myself “My god. This. This is it.” Those innocent, proud, happy little kids singing about fishies, smiling broadly and thrilled beyond belief that their parents were there to watch them. Yes. That is what life is about.

For the most part, life can be pretty mundane. We drag ourselves out of bed every day to follow the daily grind. We make money. We spend it on our homes and food. We sometimes go on vacations. And we’re happy with what we’ve got.

But then something incredible happens. And your eyes are opened wider and your heart gets even bigger and you realize you’re even happier than you knew.

After watching that clip, I realized what Oprah was talking about. I know what my passion is. I hear my life whispering to me.

I hear it every time I see Anna’s face smiling at me from her crib, first thing in the morning. I hear it when she hugs me and rests her head on my shoulder because she just wants a snuggle. I hear it when she runs to me and laughs and smiles.

I feel that passion every time I remember that this happy little human is the way she is in large part because of my husband and I.

I’m a Mom. And when I walk into a room, someone’s face lights up, just for me.

Oh yes, I hear my life whispering to me. I hear it loud and clear. And it’s saying:

“Hez... You really got things right.”

Hi there. Remember me?

Oh, god... I am AWFUL at this lately.

So - you may have noticed I've been MIA lately. (Or you may not have noticed at all and this is news to you completely. If that's the case... Hi guys! I've been MIA lately.)

The thing is, I've been doing a full time gig for the past 3 weeks that involves commuting to the big city and everything. So I leave the house at 7:30 in the morning and don't get home until 6pm. Just enough time for me to help feed Anna dinner, give her her bath, play with her for a bit, try to chat with the hubster, get Anna to bed and then drag my tired arse up to bed myself.

Which leaves little to no time for blogging. (I barely have time to update my Facebook status lately, let alone try and write in full sentences and paragraphs.) Woe is me.

Anywho. So I hope you guys stick around to read on after the next few weeks. I should be able to find some time to get back on track in the near future.

In the meantime... here's a little update on All Things Anna.

• She's almost 16 months now. WTF??? When did that happen?? She's not my wee little buttertart anymore.
• She cries every morning and clings to me when she realizes I'm leaving. Break my heart much?? Sob.
• She has 4 teeth... but we think another one may be on the horizon. She's drooling like crazy and keeps biting everything. She actually bit my toe the other day. (Which? Ew. It wasn't a "fresh-out-of-the-shower" toe.)
• She's not really talking... but she says Mama and Dada and Wow. The rest is kind of gibberish. But from her perspective, she's totally having full-on conversations.
• She's still obsessed with belly buttons.
• She RUNS. She doesn't walk. She's all Forest Gump-like now.
• I happen to think she's super cute. From her uber-soft skin to the adorable way that she gives kisses... She's my favourite little thing in the universe. (Even more so than peanut butter. And that's saying a lot.)
• (I love peanut butter).

This is a shiny, happy post

I’ve sort of noticed that these posts I write can sound like I’m complaining. Or that I’m finding motherhood ridiculously tough. Or that I’m not happy.

Which is too bad, because all of the above is not true.

So, I shall say here and now, for all you lovely Mamas to witness: I LOVE BEING A MOM! I love my little Buttertart. Man, she’s funny. She does this thing right now… Since she’s fascinated with belly buttons, she likes to point everyone’s belly button out to the ENTIRE ROOM. Which means you MUST lift your shirt up and bare your stomach for an audience. If you don’t, she can’t properly point out where your belly button is. You know – just in case you weren’t aware.

Anyway. I digress.

So, yeah. I’m happy. Things are good. 99% of the time I talk about fun, light topics, like the Royal Wedding or how good the movie Bridesmaids looks (which I’m going to see tonight, by the way! Woo!)

I think you guys seem to only hear from me when I’m wondering about something, or perhaps doubting myself or when I’m having an off day.

Which really isn’t the “real” me.

The real me is all jokey and happy and silly and likes to randomly yell out “I KICK. And I STRETCH. And I KICK!! IIIIII’MMMMM FIFTY!!!!!!” (Source: Molly Shannon, SNL. Frickin’ hilarious.)

Anywho – so I’m going to start the weekend off right. I’m going to be shiny and happy and I’m going to wish you a lovely weekend with your little ones. May there be much smiling and laughing this weekend. In FACT – may you laugh so hard that your guts hurt and your ass twitches.

And on that note, I’m going to sign off.

After all, there’s never a better way to end off a post then with a good ass-twitch comment.

Who wants a kiss??

You may have noticed that I’ve been a bit MIA lately. I’ve taken a brief hiatus while stuff has been busybusybusy with me.

Alas! I am back. Did you miss me??

So. Here’s where I talk about a topic that is probably near and dear to every Mom in the universe. The issue of time.

When I was pregnant, everybody said all these things to me about having your first baby that sounded really cliché. You know “Enjoy them at every stage because it goes so fast”. “You never know what being tired really means until your baby arrives.” “It’s the most rewarding, amazing thing you’ll ever experience.”

You know, that kind of stuff.

I believed everything they were saying – but it just didn’t really mean anything to me until I had Anna. Then I thought, “Oh! This is what they’re talking about. I get it now.”

The same is true for the time thing. I’d always heard Moms saying they were so busy and that there just wasn’t enough time to do everything. And again, I believed them… but I didn’t think much of it.

Now I know first-hand about this never-ending search for time.

My days are filled with taking care of Anna (a full-time job on its own), doing heaps and heaps of laundry, trying to work out at least 3 times a week, eating, sleeping, getting myself to look respectable (a much larger task than it sounds really), taking Anna to activities to keep her engaged. Oh – and also trying to make a living so we don’t have to resort to eating cat food.

I also struggle to find time to do things like grocery shopping, tidying the house, running little errands, writing my blog and keeping in touch with friends so that on the off chance that I have an evening free – I actually still have a friend or two to hang out with.

My goodness. I definitely did NOT know from busy before. (Or, did I and I just don’t remember??)

So my question for you Moms is this:

How on earth do you do it??

How do you survive? How do you manage to get everything done? Is your BlackBerry your little lifesaver? Do you let some things slide? What is your secret?

Tell me something encouraging, ladies. And I’ll plant a big, wet kiss right on your lips.

Are these really my boobs from now on?

I'm back! Here's a post I wrote about a month or so ago. I also entered it into a writing contest, so I was waiting to see if I would win before posting it here. Guess what? I didn't win. Crazy, crazy contest people. This stuff is gold, no?? It's gold!! Enjoy the read.

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They say your body is never the same after having a baby.

Pre-baby, I would think, “Well, who the heck are they anyway?” as I rolled my eyes. Really? Come on. How different can your body be?

To which I now say: Ha!

My sweet little pre-baby self. She was so innocent and cute, no? She thought such adorable things. Let’s all look at her with knowing smiles and pat her head whenever she says, “I don’t believe it”.

As much as I hate to admit it… the clichés? They’re all true. Before having my child, my body was decent. I could stand to lose five to ten pounds or so, but I was fit. Nice, perky boobs. I only peed when I wanted to.

And now. Oh… now.

My baby is almost 14 months old.

And I’ve experienced all of the following first-hand:

I have not lost 20 of the 38 pounds I gained during pregnancy. (ACK! It’s been over a year, people!) The weight did not fall off easily from breastfeeding. Lies. Complete lies.

I’ve only had my period twice. (Hi… Hormones? Can you regulate at some point soon please? M’k? Thanks.) On a side note – woo hoo! On another side note – huh. I wonder if I’m pregnant this month.

My boobs are both Nell Carter-giant while extremely soft and floppy at the same time. This seems to be scientifically impossible.

Oh. And I pee when I laugh, sneeze or jump up and down. I thought this was only a joke used in movies and TV shows for cheap laughs. Turns out it's true. Hurrah! I'm so excited.

(Also? If my husband uses the term “snissing” to describe something I’m doing one more time, I fear that all the romance will be officially gone from our marriage.)

I’ve also got a few of the typical body changes – you know, the stretch marks, the ungodly amount of hair loss (I’m still shocked I’m not bald) and the sexy muffin top.

So, I think it’s safe to say that “they” were right. Your body isn’t the same after baby. Not even close. And, if it is, you’re not human. You are most likely part droid, and have much bigger problems than floppy boobs.

The funny thing is, before I had my baby, when I asked a friend about the whole “ripping” phenomenon of birthing a child (with complete and utter horror clearly visible in my eyes) she answered, “But it’s all so worth it.”

I nodded and smiled. But at the time, I didn’t understand what she really meant. I knew it sounded like another one of those things everyone tells you about having a baby. But I didn’t quite get it.

Not until I had my little girl. And experienced a million seemingly small moments first-hand.

Like this morning. I went into my daughter’s room to get her up for the day, and her entire face broke into a smile. She shot her arms straight up in the air as I got closer to her crib, showing me she really, really wanted me to hold her.

She wrapped her tiny little arms tightly around my neck and brushed her soft, sweet cheek against my face. I could feel her head nuzzle into my neck and her body soften against me.

And she stayed like that. We stayed like that.

It was then I realized that motherhood has changed so much more than my body.

I’m now the lucky and loving recipient of gummy grins. I get to kiss chubby elbow dimples whenever I want. My days consist of tickling soft tummies. I’m an expert in styling cute, wispy bed-head hair and cleaning up cheerios. I now know all about that unconditional, undeniable love my friend was telling me about.

And, most importantly, I have a lifetime of moments like I had this morning.

The snissing is so worth it.