- Come here sweetie. Let me smell your bum.
- What have you done??
- Can we not play on the toilet today?
- Man, your teeth are sharp.
- Stairs are not for biting, sweetie.
- Look at you! You're brushing your teeth! Oh... wait. Okay, you're actually just putting your toothbrush in the shoe. That's cool, too.
- How about you don't put your fingers in there, m'kay?
- If I have to watch Murray and Sam and Jeff and the blue one once more... I might lose it. You don't want Mommy to lose it, do you?
That is all.