The things I say.

Things I have said today thus far:

• Come here sweetie. Let me smell your bum.
• What have you done??
• Can we not play on the toilet today?
• Man, your teeth are sharp.
• Stairs are not for biting, sweetie.
• Look at you! You're brushing your teeth! Oh... wait. Okay, you're actually just putting your toothbrush in the shoe. That's cool, too.
• How about you don't put your fingers in there, m'kay?
• If I have to watch Murray and Sam and Jeff and the blue one once more... I might lose it. You don't want Mommy to lose it, do you?

That is all.