Thursday, March 17, 2011

Do you love one kid more than the other?

It honestly just took me about an hour and a half to get Anna to go for her afternoon nap. This is despite the fact that she was clearly showing signs of being tired.

And that is why I have no fun blog today. Instead, I'm going to make me a coffee and sit on the couch for a minute.

Mama needs a moment to herself.

In the meantime - have you heard about this?? It's a Mom blog post that's been going viral the last few days because the author openly admits to loving her son more than her daughter. I just went back to read it today and found it's been changed since she first wrote it. She edited out the part where she says that there are times, in her darkest moments, where she doesn't think it would be that awful if she lost her daughter, as long as she could keep her son.

There are a whole LOT of notes and explanations attached to it now... but you still might get the point.

What do you think? I don't know if I can comment... I think that'd be another LONG blog for another day.

And, as I said, that couch is calling my name.


  1. It never ceases to amaze me what people will put on the internet. Seriously. This stuff is on there FOREVER!

    And how someone could ever say that they would rather lose one child over the other is quite frankly disgusting. I sometimes LIKE one of my kids better than the other for a moment, but I always, always LOVE them both the same, in different ways.


  2. I do understand where she is coming from. I don't think she really meant that she loved one kid more, just...differently. I have similar feelings sometimes...i think when you have kids that are so extremely different from each other, and one is very, very difficult while the other seems so easy, you naturally gravitate toward the easy one. Of course, I didn't bond with Gabriel when he was born because I am not his natural mom so that obviously has something to do with it. But he is also difficult and has some behavior challenges, plus he and I don't share a lot of the same interests so it sometimes feels like I don't have as much of an affinity toward him. But that's where the hard work as a parent comes in...I am aware of these things and I work extra hard to make sure I am giving him what he needs, making sure I am not too hard on him, and taking special time out to spend with just him. I know I am not perfect and I am certain that I am messing both of my kids up in some way, but I think we all are! Most of the time I let myself off the hook...and just do the best I can.

  3. Great topic, I want to read more comments! Because I can't imagine loving anyone as much as I love Olivia - I really want to read other Moms perspectives that have two or more.

    My Mom always always says that your heart just grows - and then you love them both the same and then it grows some more and you love all three the same. And there's something to that because I have never ever been jealous of my sisters. I can honestly say that. I don't know how my Mom did it but I wish she could bottle it and sell it to me. She always says her favourite is the one that needs her the most at the time. And I get that too. It's amazing how much I fought against being like my Mom as a teenager and now I hope to be just like her as Mother

  4. My husband has a fear of having another child because he doesn't want to love our son any less. We are so in love with him. It would be great to hear more from moms who have 2 or more. I am trying to convince him to go for another and that our love would just grow and not be taken away from our little guy.

  5. Anonymous - is your husband an only child? If not - did he not feel equal amounts of love for him and his sibling from his parents? I agree that it would be good to hear from some more "seasoned" parents though!

  6. My (now ex) husband didn't think he could love a child like he did our first. Once we had our second, he figured it out. Our hearts have an infinite capacity for love - it's as simple as that.
    As for loving one child more than another? I love all 3 of mine the same. Like CT's mom said above - my favourite is always the one who needs me the most at that moment.
    Now "like", on the other hand, is a whole other ballgame! I don't always like my kids the same. That's ok though, because they don't always "like" me. lol