Sunday, February 6, 2011

The going back to work debate

This coming week marks the first week that I will be officially leaving Anna for several days, and for more than a couple of hours at a time.

*Tries very hard not to sob while attempting to blog*

I've got a job set up that requires me to go into an office for a few days. Therefore, Anna will be without her Mama. And I will be without my Anna.

Again, the rational side of my brain is telling me that everything will be just fine. Lots of Moms do it. And their babies are happy. They're perfect. It works, and it has been working for a very long time.

Anna is going to be happy and fine and everything will be lovely. I know it will. Honest.

But I can't help but feel a bit nervous. A bit sad. And a bit torn.

I haven't officially reached that point yet where I feel like I absolutely *must* get out of the house and get some alone adult time with other grown-ups. As long as I can get out and about, and bring Anna with me, I'm just fine with the way things are working.

We're a team. We haven't been apart for very long at all yet. I haven't even been away from her over night once. And while I know it's possible, I don't really feel the need for it just yet.

(She's still so itty bitty. What if she needs her Mama?? What if she wants her Mama??)

Seriously though. I understand where Moms are coming from when they say they need to get back to work, back to a life that isn't just "Mommy", back to an environment where they use their brains in a different way.

But I'm not there yet. I like my brain just the way it is.

So, when it comes to the stay-at-home or go-back-to-work debate, where do you sit? How did you cope when you had to go back the first time? Am I being silly? Is everything going to be just fine?

Please tell me the answer is yes.


  1. Oh Hez - this is a really hard time and you're not being even a little bit silly. We all have to go back to work unless we're really lucky and that's only a few. It's very sad when your special 1 on 1 time comes to an end.

    I sobbed, like really sobbed all the way to Burlington the first day I went back to work. That's 50 minutes of crying. How silly is that? And Olivia didn't sleep in the beginning. She stood in her playpen waiting. Waiting for me? *Sob!*

    But amazingly she learned to sleep. She now sleeps every day for 2-3 hours even on weekends! And she goes to bed without issue every night now alone. And she's so much happier. Daycare did for her what I couldn't do for over a year. And she likes it there. She's still adjusting but she's playing now with the other kids.

    Anna will do amazing. And so will you. I promise, it's all going to be just fine.

  2. oh Heather! Yes, it will be fine! It's one of the hardest things you'll ever do, but believe me when I tell you it will all work out. With both Sophia and Matteo, it almost KILLED me. I was a wreck. And I was so used to my days with each of them, and now I wouldn't be there, and they would think I abandoned them, and that I didn't love them anymore, and that I'm the worst mother ever.......etc etc etc. The reality? The first few days were tough for them, but they got used to it very quickly, and both of them LOVE daycare. they love playing with the other kids. They love the activities that they're able to do all day. they get to learn to share, to socialize, to make little baby friends. It truly is amazing. And there's nothing, i mean nothing, like the feeling when you go to pick them up, and they see you, and their little face gets all lit up and they say "Mommy!!!!" while they run to you at top speed. Sniffle sniffle. You will be fine. Anna will be fine. In fact, both of you will be more than fine, you'll both be great. Promise.


  3. I feel the same way Heather, I go back in a month and half. My son isn't helping me out either, we went to a stay and play with fun kids and toys and all he wanted was his Mamma. Overall though I believe we'll all be fine when we get adjusted. Thanks for the post.

    Erin c/r

  4. I've done it twice and both times were very scary and tough. However, both kids adjusted pretty easily and while I still get the occasional desire to be home with them, I know personally I could never be happy as a stay-at-home mom. The whole family is much happier with me working part time. Daycare certainly has drawbacks but I think it has certain benefits too.

    I would love to have more balance in my life and work less, but that's not possible for us right now. Howev,er I still make time to volunteer at my oldest kids school, take them out to Tim Horton's before we drop them off once in a while. I appreciate my time with them so much more now that I'm away parts of the day. They both have friends, do cool crafts and learn things that I could never teach them.

    I honestly think it's healthy for kids and parents to spend time apart. I love that both my kids can spend a night away at any of their (6) grandparents houses and have a blast. I love that they have learned how to interact and make friends at a very early age. Not to say daycare is the only way to achieve this, but it certainly does have benefits.

    If you don't feel right about going back to work, don't do it! If you want to go back, then try to enjoy your time away. Your relationship with Anna will change over time. It's sad when certain stages come to an end, but it's also exciting. She's growing up a bit now, and you're transitioning into working mom. I think it's great for her to see the choices you're making for yourself and the family. She's got a great role model in you!